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I was determined to show Dave hell when he comes back.
The offences were that he cheated on me and also that he never told me about it.
“If he had told you about it, would you have been able to contain it?” My Guide whispered to my ears.
“See, right now Holy Spirit, I am not ready for peace. I am not happy. I kept myself for this guy. I never knew a man. No man had seen my nakedness apart from him and now, he is not contended!” I ranted on and on.
I picked my Bible and put it aside. I didn’t want any chance for God thing this afternoon.
God is too peaceful o!
When it’s time to fight, we should. If he comes now and I am submissive to him, he would really not know what offence he has committed.
I flipped through the Christian channels on the cable and they were talking about forgiveness, tolerance, understanding, prayer bring every yokes down. Even the Islamic stations bombarded my ears with not allowing the devil into our marriages by our mistakes.
I felt like screaming!
Must everyone do this to me?
Can’t I just have the chance to fight for myself?
“Liz, you think fighting would settle this? No! listen!” the Holy spirit said to me.
The Spirit must love me so much to still persistently speak to me.
He knows my name! he knows my every thought! He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call!
Oh now I know the true message of that song!
“See, a woman needs the wisdom of God. If a marriage works, its kudos to the woman. If it doesn’t work again, it’s a failure on her part”
“How? How?” I said on. Is it because the Holy Spirit is a spirit that he can’t feel what I am feeling? Woman’s fault ke!
“See, a wise woman builds her home but the foolish one pulls it down with her own hands. Hence, to build this home, you need wisdom”
“How else can I be wise Lord? I am very sure I am in your will. Or, am I not?” I was almost crying. I had fallen on my face with great anguish.
“You are in God’s will daughter but that does not shield you from life’s storms. God has not promised Christians a storm free life but he promised us his protection even in the storm”
“Ah! But you said you will not tempt us more than we can bear Lord. This is beyond my capability. Other women can handle it but I can’t. I really can’t”
“You have never really farmed but let me tell you this. It is very dangerous for vegetables at the very tender age to survive. They would need a flower bed and camping to survive through the harsh weather and others. When they grow to maturity, no one remembers the suffering they have been through o. “
“Oh God!” his words were hitting me hard
“Look at you and your twin sister Elizabeth. You think raising you was easy? Twins are not desirable when they are young o but look at you both now; it’s sweet to desire twins. That’s how marriage is. It has its ups and down especially when it is at the tender stage but now, it’s up to you what becomes of your family. Don’t fail the test. The devil is at the door. Fight harder! Don’t give up!” He concluded and there was silence.
Wisdom of God is Jesus!
I need you Jesus!
Help me handle this situation well!
I had my bath with the Laurel lavender soap Dave brought me from France.
“If you want to catch your husband and put him in the mood, bath with this soap. My dear, I love lavender!” he told me when he gave the expensive soap to me last month.
I also oiled my body in lavender lotion and sprayed my body. Then, I wore one very beautiful, scanty night-gown that I bought at PEP last month.
I had taken care of the whole house and it was very well scented. The lavender air freshener was at work really good.
My mother in law came over in the morning and had taken Blossom out to return in the evening. What a chance!
I had pounded yam and prepared Dave’s Egusi elemi meje soup (with dried fish, bush meat, snails, crayfish, stockfish, chicken…name it all). I even took my time to make him a bottle of citrus squash!
I was very attractive. I checked myself in the mirror and no! This is me!
Dave, please do and come home quickly jhur!
He smiled as he saw me, looking deeply into my eyes with love.
I could be a very good seductress though to make this recently bony guy smile. I thought to myself.
I flashed my teeth open as I smiled and no! I killed it! That is exactly what Dave loves. He came closer to me and wanted to hug me.
I just took his briefcase and ran up the stairs. His eyes followed me and he smiled.
“Foolish guy! He has been giving me attitude o. Now, he sees me looking good and he is smiling. He doesn’t even know if it’s a trap!”
He ran after me to the room like a cock courting a hen. He was all over me but I really played him.
He caught me around the waist and I wriggled out like an earthworm that encountered salt. He looked at me and was disappointed
“You are looking very nice this evening” he said.
“Haven’t I been looking good before?” I asked
“Hmmm, you have always been but since you gave birth to Blossom, you have really not been attractive. You know?” he was saying.
Really! So, that’s the problem!
That’s why you have been watching porn to see well appealing girls” I wanted to say but I ate my words
“Really? Tell me something. If not, nothing for you tonight” I went on.
It worked! He started talking
“Since you gave birth, you won’t wear brassiere. Everything would be down like whatever. Your hair would be scattered all over your head. You will wear big clothes and you won’t walk so smartly. It was always you and Blossom. You had time for her than for me.”
Ah! My hubby is a kid o!
What is he saying?
So my appearance and the devotion to child raising is the wahala now, abi?
“Well, I have heard you. But you like my dressing today?”
“Yes I do” he said sweetly, running his eyes over my body
“That’s why you didn’t ask after our baby?” I said and he opened his mouth slightly, guilt on his face.
“That’s true. Where is Blossy?” he asked
“Granny came to carry her”
“Wow! Good! We should do that once in a while” he said, grinning happily.
He came close to me again and wanted to touch him. I avoided him like a plague. He looked hurt but I was really enjoying the whole thing.
“Husbandman, I want you as you want me but I have bathed. Go and bath too” I said and he sighed deeply, started removing his clothes and off he dashed to the bathroom.
I laughed so heavily!
At least, I am forgiving him little but little though I am still hurt
Revenge is sweet o, abeg!
I went to the wardrobe, brought out very tight leggings, wore it and tied wrapper. Off I went to sleep- pretentious sleep
He was already on the bed tugging at me and all but I didn’t respond. He was getting angry I know because I have never performed this kind of stunt before.
“Your food is on the dining table” I told him and he sat up on the bed, fuming and looking angry.
“What’s it? Eat now” I teased him
“No! it’s you I want.”
“Pounded yam and Egusi o” I said again
“Lizzy stop!” he came close, pulled the blanket away and he saw the leggings. He looked perturbed and looked into my face
“Yes! Its time to sleep” I said and slid into the blanket again.
“Liz, It seems you have forgotten your bible but I will remind you. First Corinthians chapter 7 verse 5 says ‘The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband…” he was saying when I cut him shut abruptly
“Seems you have forgotten that the verse you just quoted isn’t complete. I will tell you. The last part of that verse also says ‘likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body but his wife.” I was almost screaming.
My revenge turning into hate.
“Yes, agreed! No one is disputing that fact. But the next verse also says ‘Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer’…except during fast! Don’t you understand your Bible again?”
I saw that it was choking him. I was enjoying the banter. I sat up and faced him.
“Well, Mr. Interpreter of the Bible! I am fasting! I am having sex fast so let’s respect that”
“What!” he exclaimed
“Dave, I really do not want to speak but since it seems you are ready for a biblical fight, I am ready for you so that you will know that khaki no be leather!”
“ehn ehn!..” he said, looking at me in disbelief.
This obviously can’t be my humble Lizzy. Lizzy never disrespects me.
“Yes! Khaki no be leather.” I repeated intentionally.
That is perhaps the most abusive word I know and he looked on in amazement
“For some days now, you have been giving me attitudes, refusing to look into my face, you have refused to carry Blossom or play with her. You have found my touch irritating and now because you are on heat like a dog, you are coming to me. Mba! It doesn’t work that way”
I was talking so emphatically that I didn’t know when I compared him to a dog.
He clapped his hands together still surprised
“Lizzy! Lizzy! Is it because I wanted to lie with my own wife that I have become a dog? Is that why you have the effrontery and audacity to tell me I am a dog? Liz, you compared me to a dog! Liz…”
When I saw that it was getting into his heart really deep, I switched to the defense mood automatically. So I stood abruptly and picked up my Bible. I opened it so fast that it looked like I was being controlled by some elements.
“Let me also read this passage to you my dear husband. Malachi chapter 2 verses 14. ‘You ask why? It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.”
“Jesus! Liz, what are you saying? What are you talking about? When did I cheat on you? How?” He asked on, looking at me with such pitiful face that I felt like I was a mad woman. I shook my head.
“I am not mad! I know what I am saying!” I told myself loudly.
Confusion set in and I didn’t know what to do. I cannot believe its me teasing my husband with what rightly belongs to him.
Too much of some kinds of movies though! They taught me!
‘What is happening to me? Is this how to honor my husband? Isn’t this disrespect of the highest order? See his face, looking like he wants to cry!’ I thought to myself.
“I didn’t bargain for this Lord. I never ever imagined shouting at Dave. I am confused. I am so so confused. Why did he cheat on me? Why has he been unfaithful to me? Why?” I started crying again!
Oh my tears duct! It’s always falling my hands! It doesn’t obey me at all! The tears flowed.
Dave stood up from the bed and came close to me. He reached for me but I avoided his hands
“Don’t touch me! Your hands are filthy…Dave, they are so filthy…” I continued in my cries.
Dave started sniffing wetly too. I looked into his eyes- he was crying. I stopped crying. I tried to see clearly from the clouds of my tears.
“What is it?” I asked.
Why is he crying? Is he really cheating on me? As i Saw him crying profusely, i became afraid.
“Liz….” He was saying when he stopped again. He cried on and on.
Help me not to die from my anxiety o!
I am very mad because he was watching porn. Because of porn and nothing more! Can I bear him telling me he has a girlfriend or he probably has a child out-of-wedlock? In fact, I will die!
I looked into his face so deeply and he looked into mine. His stream of tears mixed with the small puddles of sweat on his face to make a sea!
I have never seen him cry before!
Everything is strange!
“Liz, I have a confession to make” he said and held my two hands. I started shaking. I was speechless
“Please forgive me Liz” he said on shaking with tears so badly. I stood up.
Holy Spirit, is this also a storm that would pass?
I really needed strength!
I was weak. My knees couldn’t carry me.
I have never bargained for this
Where is the guy I married?
What does this guy want to say?
Oh God! I’m scared!!!