I had never read a more emotional story book in my life- her diary!
Immediately we left her classroom and headed for my car which was luckily parked close, Jean and I jumped into the car as Leo sped off as if he knew what we were up to.
“Madam, hospital right?” Leo asked and I nodded, not bothered if he saw me or not.
I started blowing air into her nostrils.
“Mum, what are you doing?” Jean had asked and I just shrugged, confused
He shook his head and sighed, sweat beads under his nose.
“That’s no rescuing skill mum. If you’re gonna fan, fan. Not blow some kinda microbes into the poor girl’s nostrils” he said, his nose pulled up, displaying his irritation
“Na you sabi” that was all I could say.
When one is confused, it’s just so definite that one could do some things wrong, I wonder what his crucifixion was for anyways.
I picked up my phone and flipped through my contacts
“Hello darling” I had said to my husband over the phone
“Are you at work?” I asked.
“Oh yes. What’s wrong with you?” he asked, somewhat agitated. He must have felt the tension in my voice.
He is the managing director of a big private hospital in town- Royal Diadem Hospital
“Get set for a cross examination and probably a surgery” I said and I heard the screeching of the chair.
He must have probably stood up abruptly
“What’s the matter girl?” he asked
“It’s a student. We will be there soon”
As she was being wheeled into one of the Accident and Emergency department theatres, I joined my hands together as I closed my eyes firmly.
I felt my husband’s hand round me and relaxed a bit
“It is well dear” he said
I smiled as I quickly held his hands
“Dearie, what could be wrong with her? She’s a young teenager. Why would she be bleeding like that? I was so scared” I said and he shook his head
“She is going to be checked now and we will find out what it was exactly. Be calm please” he said as he pecked my forehead and left
I looked around for my boy and I saw him at the entrance of the theatre, pacing to and fro like a concerned groom awaiting the sex of his newborn
I went close to him and sat down.
What could have happened to this girl?
I had heard a lot being said about her in recent times, all revolving round her being possessed by the devil to the extent that she had become resistant to the name of Jesus
She even slapped Elder!
But it looked to me like there was more to it.
Jean had been disturbing me to check on her and ask her what the problem was and I had been so furious as to why he would want that of me.
I had never been a prayer warrior or a deliverance master so why he was so interested in her to the extent that he wanted me to pray for her, I wondered.
“Or do you like her?” I had asked him
He looked at me suddenly and flinched
“God forbid” he said and I smiled a bit
“Then, you hate her?” I asked and he looked at me again, looked away and shook his head
“Why would I hate her?” he said, silently
I laughed aloud
“You like her then” I said, eyeing him playfully
“Well, like a friend sha” he said, fumbling with his tie
I kept on laughing uncontrollably while he could only watch on, embarrassed
What was so unique about this girl that had drawn my son to him?
I had sent for her records from her class teacher and I had realized that she had been the best student in the school since she was in JSS 1
Even after monitoring her closely especially in the past one month plus, she had still soared high in all her subjects
I found her interesting
In my research, I found out that she still bed wet
I learnt that she had been nicknamed Wee-wee girl and Messy Mercy and that she even had no friend in school.
The fact that she was indeed possessed became clear to me then especially when it was coming from her biological mother
I heard also that she was a loner- she doesn’t talk to anyone nor does anyone talk with her too.
When Jean said he wanted her to be his friend, I was so shocked but how do I discourage him?
Once my son said something, he really did mean it although he might be young.
I simply told him to tell her that he would love her to his friend and let’s hear her reply first.
This afternoon, he had ran to my office looking really sad as he fell into my arms saying ‘I was rejected’
I rubbed his shoulders then and smiled
“You were never meant to be friends my son. I just didn’t want to dissuade you at first’ I said to him and he withdrew from me and backed me
“I insulted her after the rejection” he said, hurt laced his voice as he fumbled with his trousers pockets
I looked up at him and smiled again
“You shouldn’t have done so my dear.”
“I should go and apologize?” he didn’t say it as if he was asking a question. He just wanted me to affirm what he really wished to do and there was no stopping him.
He flew out of my office almost instantly until almost immediately; I had heard his estranged voice call ‘Mummy!’
I jumped out almost immediately as I ran towards the ss2 block where he was and my eyes got drawn to the almost lifeless body on an iron locker and the blood flowing from under her.
My heart jumped into my mouth.
The only thing that would make a woman bleed from between her legs as far as I was concerned was miscarriage or abortion or hemorrhage.
But she couldn’t just be pregnant- not at all!
I buried my head into my hands as I shook my legs endlessly
Something made me really bothered about this young girl and I couldn’t fathom what it was
“I just don’t worth Jean’s friendship!..” those words rang in my ears and I looked into the air, quite lost
“I am filthy and dirty that saying yes to his friendship proposal would even be a sin!” the words rang the more and I seemed really lost in my world.
My heart raced the more
It didn’t seem like a demon-possessed issue here
It sounded as if there was something hidden and I just had to find out what it was
“But who would understand my predicament? Nobody” it seemed as if I could see her face even as she wrote those words down.
What could it be that this young girl was going through?
She had wonderful parents, attended a very good school, she was very bright in school and all
What could the problem be for goodness’ sake?
I stood up and walked closer to my son in front of the ward. We were at the VIP section of the theatre so we could see what was going on in the ward through the glassy section
“Mum, what could be wrong? Would she die?” he asked, holding my heads tightly
They felt really cold and I quickly wore a smile to assure him
“Death? Oh no! She can’t die” I said to him
He walked away again, really worried
What could that be Oh Lord?
I just didn’t like racking my brain over things like this.
I would just go into the secret revealer so He could talk to me then.
I needed a solution
Whatever predicament she was talking about could just be life-threatening, who knows?
I looked over my son and he had dropped her bag on the steel seat close to the door.
“Pick it” something told me and I obeyed as I walked towards my husband’s office.
I closed the door and dropped the bag on the center table.
I quickly improvised the hanky I was holding as a scarf as I looked up to the heavens, my heart really yearning
“Oh God, I have come again! You just can’t be tired of me coming. I am here again because you have withdrawn my peace from me as regards Mercy. What is the problem? Is there anything I don’t know?” I asked, face up to the ceiling yet
The heaven felt like steel against my prayers and I fell to my knees
I was frustrated so much that I knew deep down that the Holy Spirit just wanted to pass across salient information across
But why wouldn’t He talk then?
Why is He being quiet?
I should worship?
I started worshipping God for selecting me for this kind of assignment
“Oh Lord, it’s a privilege. Thanks so much for everything. Thanks for even opening my mind to know that I should seek you on this matter.” As I said that, it felt as if that was what He wanted to even hear.
It was the accurate prayer point!
God had always been faithful to me in that regards.
I had fasted and prayed that God should give me so much direction that when I kneel down to pray, it wouldn’t be a waste of time but the major prayer point for each issue I call on Him for should be placed on my lips and he had never failed me once.
Ask for Forgiveness
I was unsure I heard Him right but I obeyed Him.
I must have really committed a huge sin without being aware of it.
“My Father, please forgive me in your mercy. In ways I have committed sins knowingly and unknowingly, I ask for mercy in the name of Jesus” I prayed
No satisfaction came
I had not nailed it on the head the way He wanted it
My heart yearned the more
“Oh God, I really don’t get. I can’t really fathom what exactly it is I am supposed to confess. Search me oh Lord and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts dear Savior. See, if there be any sin in me and cleanse me Lord” I prayed fervently, tears gathering in my eyes already
“OK… Lord have mercy. Please have mercy…” I prayed again when the Spirit spoke silently again
I started racking my brain as I shook my head if that would open my understanding.
“Oh Lord, I don’t seem to understand what You are trying to pass across but I bring Mercy before You…” just like at the Who wants to be a Millionaire show, it felt like I heard a round of applause on my behalf.
I had got the prayer right
The word came again and I closed my eyes more firmly
“Father forgive Mercy for all her…” I started again when I met with a big ‘No!’
I was confused.
What have I done to Mercy that I would need her forgiveness for?
Then I started thinking deeply
The only person I had talked about Mercy with was my husband after the service on Sunday.
It was after our lunch as we discussed over a tray of oranges
“The service today was almost interrupted o. We just thank God” my husband had said
I shook my head
“I was in the toilet when everything happened o. Mama Peace was telling me that the Elder’s daughter caused a commotion” I said and he shook his head
“She is really demon possessed o.” my husband said and I nodded as he drove on
“My girl, she bit the usher in the church, the whole congregation was in great disarray because of her” he told me and I shook my head
“Nawa o. That is their own cross o. they would have to bear it judiciously or better still take her for deliverance. I wonder why ministers’ children suffer these things more” I had said
“Havent you ever noticed that she walked like a snake?” my husband said and although I smiled at how funny it sounded but I reasoned with it and nodded
“Just now as I think of it, her forehead has some dark parts” I said, nodding as my husband smiled
As the scene unfolded, the Holy Spirit made me aware of how foolish I had been then
“The same mistake Adam made when Eve gave him the fruit of knowledge and wisdom was the same mistake you made Tricia” He spoke to me and I listened
“Instead of Adam to tell Eve that ‘Eve, this fruit is not meant to be touched by us. You are very wrong’ he just took the fruit and ate” the calm voice continued
“When someone starts a discussion, no matter how interesting it sounds, it would be best if you called on me to filter the words and interpret them in the stereo of your ears so that you would know the right answer to give.” The spirit lectured me again and tears rolled down my face
It dawned on me how wrong I had been and how the little conversation with my husband had made me wrong
“That was why I couldn’t pray aright for her?” I seemed to ask
“The mistake most of you make is that, after condemning and complaining and criticizing someone, you would then go on your knees to pray for such. It’s not done” he said, softly
“You complain and confess that Nigeria is this and that, that your business is that and this and afterwards, you come with a fake faith to pray”
“The faith that was not in place when you were complaining suddenly resurrects when you are on your knees o pray? No! it’s not done! Faith knows that the God on the mountain is the God in the Valley. It speaks positively both in the valley and on the mountain. It doesn’t say ‘God is dead’ in the valley and changes it to ‘I know you are alive…really alive’ on the mountain”
That was just so inspiring and refreshing
“I am so sorry Lord. For joining the multitude to call Mercy possessed, I am so sorry Lord. Please forgive me and forgive my husband in Jesus’ name” that was the short prayer I said and then I felt peace
That was right too!
“The bag?” I looked round to get what that meant and I stood up when I saw her beautiful pink bag on the table where I had dropped it.
I picked it up and unzipped it.
The books in there were neatly wrapped with old newspaper and I opened the notes to see her legible handwriting
My heart craved to hold her close to my chest
I felt a whole new episode of love for her.
Then, my eyes fell on a diary- a pink diary
I picked it up and made to open it but it was locked
Where would the key be right now, Lord?
I checked inside the bag again and found a small wallet.
I opened it and found neatly arranged about ten, one hundred naira notes.
There was a small zip and I opened
There was a small golden key attached to a goldfish key holder.
I was glad!
“Thank you Holy Spirit” I said as I packed the books back into her bag and put the bag aside.
I settled down comfortably but anxiously to open the diary and digest whatever it was that was written therein
Jan 1, 2016
Alice got me this beautiful diary as a new year present as I requested. She said she got it from her monthly salary. Yippee! Now I’ve got to enter in everything that Mummy does to me inside here
I was so sure that I was in for an explosion of a kind even as I read on.
Jan 5, 2016
Mummy came into the room I share with Sissy and unfortunately, I had wet the bad again.*sobs*. She said henceforth, I should sleep at the corridor at night because I was just too ridiculous and impossible! I pleaded to no avail
I couldn’t swallow that at all!
My elder’s wife wouldn’t do that to her biological daughter without a reason
I read on as my heart raced
Jan 6, 2016
Mummy just slapped me, kicked me and called me a bastard. She reminded me that I was just found at the house doorstep, forsaken! She reminded me that she was not my mother and that I should stop calling her mummy or her husband daddy just because I told her that I didn’t appreciate the fact that I was sent to the balcony to sleep last night
I started speaking in tongues, uncontrollably as cold descended upon me.
My teeth gnashed against themselves as I shook vehemently.
“I cannot believe this ooo” I said to myself
Mercy isn’t their daughter?
As I read on, a sudden headache from nowhere descended on me and I had instant fever
“Holy Spirit” I called out as I felt my forehead with the back of my palm- it was hot!
March 7, 2016
My life just got ruined today. A lot happened that even as I write, I curse the day I was born. Daddy fondled with my breasts during morning devotion and I slapped him when I couldn’t believe all that happened. He later pulled me to the room and deflowered me. He said he had waited for the opportunity as he watched me grow *cries*….
This was the last straw that broke the camel’s back for me as I read on
My legs could not carry me as I shook like a feather being driven around by the wind
I started feeling nauseous as I held my tummy and rushed to the adjoining toilet to vomit in the basin
I couldn’t bring myself to understand what had happened
I couldn’t even forgive myself
As I pulled the tap head and water gushed out, I stared into space as my temperature rose.
I was so thirsty as the heat in my body became unbearable
No wonder they termed her possessed!
I sprinkled some water on my forehead and later walked back to the office, shaking like a wet duck
“Holy Spirit” I called out, my voice dancing with cold
I heard some footsteps and quickly ducked as I put the diary in my skirt
The door opened
“Mum, you are here. Dad’s looking for you” my son said to me.
My eyes were very hot in their sockets
“Really! I am coming” I said as I stood up promptly, my head feeling very light
We rushed out of the office and approached the theatre, my legs felt so weak as I could barely compose myself
“My girl, its more than we bargained for” my husband said and I looked deep into his face
He looked shocked as he came near me
“You look faintly. What’s the matter?” he asked
“What’s wrong with Mercy?” I asked, brushing off his question
“It was a miscarriage!” he blurted out just like that- as if it was funny.
I fell into the arm chair behind me as my husband held me firmly, looking so worried and shocked.
“What!” Jean exclaimed almost immediately, coming close to us
“A miscarriage?” he asked again and I blinked hard, tears falling down my face
“Jean, go inside the car. I will …” I was saying but he only looked towards his father
“Is miscarriage not only in pregnant people?” he asked, looking white
“Yes” the father replied and he widened his eyes as he panted heavily
“Mercy couldn’t have been pregnant daddy. It can’t be possible” he said
“But she was. Our girls of nowadays can do what other old women can’t do. We are to trust nobody” my husband said again
Here he was with his judgment again
“I thought she was different” Jean said as he turned away slowly, repeating same thing as he staggered away.
I was just too weak.
To tell my husband to stop his judgment;
To tell my son to come back so he would know that she was really different
I was too weak- just too weak!
“Girl, be strong please. Not all your students would be saints anyways” he said as he patted me softly but I couldn’t talk
I could only cry
“We might have to have a surgery to remove all the residual embryonic or placental tissue in her womb in order to avoid possible irritation or infection of the uterine lining. But she has currently relapsed into comma.” He explained and I only nodded as I rubbed my wet face on his lab coat, sniffing as I did
A doctor ran out of the ward
“Sir, your attention is needed sir. Patient Mercy is gasping for breath” he said and my husband jumped up and went after him
My heart stopped for like two minutes before coming back to life.
I jumped up and was following him when I heard the siren of an ambulance right inside the reception.
Some nurses jumped down and fixed the stretcher
They dumped someone who was dripping blood on the stretcher and wheeled him directly to one of the wards while a nurse ran pass me to the theatre calling ‘Doctor’ agitatedly
Though the person on the stretcher looked so familiar, especially those clothes, I could not link it at all.
I started walking back to the theatre when I saw some of the medical personnel coming out, beads of sweat on their faces.
They all looked dejected
“Is she dead?” I asked so agitatedly
Two of them shrugged and went past me while two nurses shook their heads
My husband looked so disturbed as if he wanted to go somewhere sharply.
He patted my back and whispered into my ears
“The Lord gives and he …” he was saying when I fell down to the ground, my hands on my head.
I didn’t cry though
I was so shocked that even as I fell to the ground, my husband just ran away as fast as his legs could carry him towards the ward where the stretcher was being wheeled to.
I smiled at the nurse holding me and started walking towards the theatre.
The door was opened and I just walked straight to the corpse which had been covered.
I removed the blue cover cloth and fell on her face to start crying vehemently.
What a pure girl!
What pain she had gone through!
What a tragic situation!
“But God, she can’t just die like that?” I cried out as I rubbed my cheek against hers
I felt warmth
Was that my fever rising up still?
I wasn’t sure.
I stood up, touched her neck and felt it- weak pulse
She wasn’t dead!
I was excited
The Holy Spirit didn’t tell me she would die, I just knew it.
I looked at the ventilator to which she was connected and tried to see what I could do
“Ma, please, let’s leave her alone. The Lord knows why…” the nurse was saying
It was even then I realized that someone was with me but I simply shrugged.
A plug on the ventilator looked loose and I pushed in it well and that was all- the pulse came blinking again
I smiled broadly as I looked at the nurse who looked shocked
“Wow! The ventilator must have been mistakenly disconnected when the nurse rushed here to tell the doc about the young boy” the nurse said, smiling
I smiled too
“That boy, what happened to him?” I asked and she shook her head
“A car rammed into his back and flung him down just right here, in front of the hospital. I doubt if the spinal cord isn’t broken” she said and I held my chest
“That’s so serious o. would that be fixed here?” I asked when she smiled
“If the spinal cord is broken, he would have to be flown outside the country. But if there is just a dislocation, it would be fixed here. It’s a serious case o” she said and I shook my head as I glanced back at Mercy
“No wonder, the doctor ran off like that” I said and she shook her head sadly
“He had to madam. That’s his only son” the nurse said and my head banged
I turned to look at her
“He’s the doctor’s son?” I asked, almost going crazy
“Yes ma” she replied courteously
I held her collars, almost lifting her up
“You mean, that’s Jean?” I asked and she nodded sheepishly
I left her and ran out of the ward madly
“Its impossible oooo my Redeemer! Impossible!….Jesu…impossible!” I sang on as I ran towards the theatre where he was wheeled to
No wonder those clothes looked so familiar!
“Jesus, I didn’t bargain for this oooo. Impossible…impossible” I cried on as I ran like I was being pursued