My one-week stay at the police cell was a very horrible one!
I had scaled through adolescence and my university days with an unsoiled testimonial but marriage threw me in a cell?
Oh my God!
What an horrible experience!
My belt was taken away and I couldn’t help but hold my trousers with my hands!
We had to do all our excretions on the bare floor where we sat and slept!
The foul criminals there stunk of alcohol and of course, those young boys actually laid their hands on me to welcome me to the cell.
The only means of ventilation was a small window very far away, close to the tall ceiling of the cell.
I was so hot inside of me!
There was no air-conditioner or fan or something!
Oh how I missed the comfort of my room!
There was no entertainment of any sort in the cell- just the buzzing and humming of the huge mosquitoes and the constant discussion of the inmates on how to deal with those that threw them there when they are released.
I was as gentle as a dove!
When they beat me and I wept, they all laughed at me and called me “Baby”
Oh! I had been a baby always right?
So much babyish that a woman I had always loved could crush me so hard!
So much babyish that I couldn’t direct the affairs of my home well at all!
As the incidence of the day actually relived in my head, I buried my head between my knees and wept!
Where had my mum gone to?
What had become of my mum?
Could she have slept in the same house with Doris after the whole incidence?
I doubt it!
Had Doris captured her and locked her inside the house so that she doesn’t visit me?
I shook my head at that thought as I smiled ruefully.
She shouldn’t be as mad as that!
Was she looking around for me, visiting different police stations?
Could it be possible that she hadn’t just been able to locate me here?
Just then, I remembered how my beautiful, petite mother had fallen that day.
I slapped my knees so hardly with my palms again
“Mummy!” I screamed out as my over burdened heart exploded suddenly.
The noisy cell became calm.
It remained calm until some of them burst into uncontrollable laughter, making jest of me
“Wetin bring this one com cell first?” one asked
“Mama pikin!” another said
“You sabi say you no get liver, why you commit?” another said and they all laughed again.
Tears flowed down my face again when a thought came into my head that my mum could be dead.
The thought tore at my heart like a pen knife and the pain was indescribable!
I stood up abruptly and slapped the wall suddenly
“My mother!” I screamed out again
I screamed in anger!
I screamed out in bitterness!
I screamed out in pain!
I screamed out in hatred!
“Mummy!” I cried madly again as if having a premonition that something bad had happened to my mother!
I was so sure that she would have come around to see me!
The mother I know would have ran after the van even when she fell!
Could something be wrong with her?
Had she died?
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I exclaimed loudly as those bad thoughts flowed
Or, could my mum have developed a heart attack when she fell? So possible!
I slapped my laps anxiously!
I heard some footsteps and some hands, having been laid on me told me that another of punishment was coming!
But I was angry , embittered and tattered that I was capable of anything bad.
“Take your filthy hands of me!” I said calmly, my nasal cavity blocked in thick phlegm
There was a slap across my face.
My head rang a bell as I remembered the first day Doris slapped me
“Leave me alone” I said calmly again but there was a tight pull at my nose.
“Crybaby!” one of them said again
I remembered that was what Doris used to call me then.
I grew so dangerous that it was after I heard some great bangs against the wall that I realized what I had done!
In anger, I had carried these men with unprecedented strength and I threw them against the wall.
I then fell on the floor too and burst out crying.
Just then, some men attacked me, pulling at different parts of my head and bending it so much so that I felt there was no way I could survive it.
As they bent it and it made some creaky sounds, I gave in yet struggling for breath!
As much as I wanted them to kill me, I didn’t want to die again!
I wanted revenge!
I wanted to unleash my revenge on Doris!
I wanted to deal with her!
I wanted her to know that I was a good husband to her, not because I had no other choice but because I chose to.
I wanted her to know that she would forever regret being an unfaithful wife!
I didn’t want to die!
He that killed with the sword must die with the sword!
He that had done something this bad to her husband must also witness the action and madness of an embittered husband!
As blood seemed to cease flowing through the veins in my neck and my head felt dry as well, I heard a movement, then a deep voice.
“Leave him alone!” it said and I was shocked.
Who was that?
It carried so much authority that I was shocked when the hands on me reduced a bit.
“Capto!” they retorted, not happy about the turnout of things.
Since I resumed at the devil White college, I had never seen or heard the Capto speak before.
Anyways, I was always seeing a huge man sleeping on the floor and looking so morose even in his sleep. Even the policemen had never for once disturbed him at all.
“Bring him here” he said again, sounding so slow and tired, though his voice was still very deep
I was pulled before him and he looked into my face.
I looked into his face too and he looked really unkempt!
“Capto!” Some of them grumbled again and he raised his head to survey all of them. He raised his hands and smiled calmly
“You can hear him calling mama like that nah. He is a cold-headed person- just like me! You don’t love your mama? I do!”
“We love our mama oo” some of them said too as they retired to the floor.
I was so sure that they weren’t satisfied with the way the Capto had spoken but I was set free so, thanks to God!
I looked into his face.
Why would he say he is a cool-headed person just like me?
Why would he say he loved his mother and he is here on the floor, stinking like a criminal? Why?
Just then, my heart pricked me!
“Pelumi, what about you?” the thought came and my heart jumped to my mouth.
That was just the bitter truth!
What about me?
What was I doing in a police cell?
This man too could have landed in the same cell with the same reason as mine if not why had he not be put in prison?
I shrugged my shoulder and looked deeply into his face.
I saw beyond his dirty beard and unkempt face and I saw a sad face!
A very sad face!
“Women issues shae?” I heard as he laid his hand on my shoulder.
How did he know?
Was he in the cell because of a woman too?
“Speak out and stop nodding when the Capto is speaking!” one of them slapped my back suddenly
It was so hard as it felt as if my back bled!
The man looked up angrily at the guy and hissed
“What sort of a nonsense was that? I am talking to someone and you had the audacity to beat the person! You had better been careful!” he said, now loudly and there was silence.
“My name is ‘In love'” he said and my eyes shone
“Yes. My mum named me that because she wanted me to be in love with the Lord” he said and I looked on at him
“The Lord?” I asked again
“Yes. My mum was an ogbonge Christian and she wanted her children to love her God too. Enough of me anyways. What is your name?” he asked and I smiled a bit
Friends in jail…or Making friends in cell or what title would I give this bond I can feel between this inmate of mine and I if I was asked to write a book on this?
I left my worries for a while and focused on this man as he ‘Preached’ to me.
I had never really had time to discuss my wife with any friend because I was guiding myself against being guided wrongly and I felt I could handle things myself.
But at this point, I was ready to discuss with anyone about the issue that so bothered me.
“My name is Oluwapelumi” I replied and he took my face in his huge hand. I felt like a small child as he surveyed my face as if to see if I had any hurt on my face.
He left my face and looked away.
“Nice name.” he said. He signaled to a guy and he brought him a packet.
He collected it from him and he opened it. He brought out a cigar and lit it up.
“You care for one too?” he asked and I shook my head.
Some guys laughed but I didn’t bother to look at them until one of them said “Mama’s boy” again.
I looked at the person dangerously.
In love coughed out.
I turned to look at him
“Why do you look that dangerous when anyone calls you those kinds of name? why?” he asked
“What?” I asked almost angrily
“You were angry when someone said you were a ‘Cry-baby’ and I knew that must have a been a woman wahala! But being a mama’s boy isn’t really much a big deal so why are you taking it this personal too?” he asked as he puff out some cigar smoke from his mouth.
I buried my head in my hands and looked up at him. My heart was obviously burdened and my head was so banging as I thought about the whole thing carefully
Why was I angry that someone called me ‘Mama’s boy?
I shook my head and just heaved a deep sigh.
“Is your mother dead?” he asked and I looked at him so shocked, my eyes boring into his.
“I reject that in Jesus’ name!” I said loudly.
“Are you a Christian like your mama too?” he asked, smiling and swallowing some more smoke
I looked into his face
“You know my mum from somewhere?” I asked and he released the smoke
“Are all mums not serious Christians? Why would saying that mean I know you from somewhere?” he asked and I nodded that it could be true.
But was I a Christian at all?
When last did I go to church?
Growing up had not really been at home like that.
My brother and I were in the boarding school from our primary school till we grew up. Those boarding schools had facilities for Christian devotion and all but we didn’t really take those things serious.
Though my mother sent us bibles and many other spiritual literatures so we could be really great Christians, I didn’t and my brother too didn’t buy all the Jesus Jesus idea.
“Women are devils! Pure and real devils for that matter!” he said again and I was startled back to reality.
“All women but my mum” I replied, unconsciously
He looked into my face and nodded too
“My mum too. So unique!” he said and smiled ruefully
I noticed that his sad face grew sadder
“Your mum is dead?” he asked and he nodded
“Since a long time ago. She taught me to love. She taught me to be faithful to my wife no matter the situation. I fell in love and that same woman made life hot for me! Really really hot!” he said again as his eyes became redder.
He threw the remain stub of the cigarette away and took a new one
I was surprised that that was exactly the same problem I had.
Exactly the same!
“I pity young men that distribute wedding cards around with beautiful smiles on their faces because that is very dangerous for them. They are entering their deaths unknowingly”
I nodded again as he spoke on.
“This cell is just like a comfort zone for me” he said and I was shocked
“What!” I exclaimed
“It’s my holiday resort!” he said again, obviously appreciating my surprised look
“That is serious” I exclaimed again and he laughed
“There isn’t any life outside there, my brother” he said again
I loved the way he said “My brother”
It sounded as if that was the first expression of love and belonging that someone was going to show to me in a long time.
“Is your mother still alive?” he asked and I was not too happy with my new friend and comforter.
“What do you mean? Why are you keen on finding out about my mother?” I asked, almost angrily and he raised his hand in surrender
“I am so sorry sir. I was just trying to consolidate with you when all you kept in saying was ‘Mum’ ‘My mum’ and all. I felt something bad had happened to your mum!” he said calmly and I stood up angrily and slapped the wall again as the realization dawned on me again that something might have happened to my mum.
“Ahhhhhhh!” I screamed as I punched the wall severally as if I was running mad.
A hand held me suddenly as I was about landing about the tenth blow on the wall.
“Don’t pull the walls of my abode down” he said and turned me to face him.
It was my cell friend!
He pulled me into a warm embrace
His shirt smelt so horribly!
The shirt smelt of sweat, blood, mucus, dirt…different horrible odor!
But his hug was appreciated!
It was life-lifting!
I relaxed into his broad chest and wept like a baby.
“Oluwapelumi, the wall hasn’t offended you! The woman might have offended you and she is the one who you should beat. You should deal with her” he said and I looked into his face. He smiled and pulled me back to the floor.
“Your wife cheated on you?” he asked and I shook my head
“More than that! She didn’t appreciate my love, she cheated on me, she competed with my authority as a man, she aborted my baby, she beat me up, she did a whole lot to me!” I said again but I wasn’t crying as I would have done in time past.
“She threw you in the cell too. You didn’t add that” In love said to me and I nodded sheepishly.
That was so true!
“So, the thing is disturbing your mum?” he asked and I shook my head.
“I really don’t know if my mum is okay. She fell as the black Maria came to pick me up. She is hypertensive and I don’t know if she is fine right now.” He said
“Hmmm….how do you feel now?” he asked and I searched my heart.
“I feel strong hate, strong anger, strong revenge!” I almost screamed and In love smiled as he picked another cigar from the packet. He lit it and pointed it at me
“I love revenge! I preach revenge! I seek revenge everyday! I strategize revenge! My head is filled with revenge strategies!” he said to me
“I don’t smoke” I told him
He shook his head
“I wasn’t smoking too until my revenge mission. I couldn’t bear to do without smoking. I do drugs, I take ganja, I take lot of things so that the revenge would be really smooth!” he laughed loudly and I looked at the cigarette
Tears ran down my face as I collected it from his hand!
I felt like a virgin whose pride is being taken from her with just a piece of biscuit but who had to do it because only then would her school fees be complete.
“I had to take upon me some extra forces and power to complete my mission and see, revenge is good! Revenge is sweet! I won’t stop seeking for revenge ooo” he said as he helped my hand to my mouth.
“Don’t be a baby. You are a man! Deal with it and deal with her!” he said and I cried the more as I inhaled smoke for the first time in my life!
They all clapped and hailed me as I did so but I was in so much pain as the smoke entered into my head. It was as if the smoke entered my brain and my chest to choke my frustration to death.
I coughed very noisily for a while before I kept quiet.
“I can understand how it feels but you will be fine soon. Just take one more, slowly this time around” he told me but my chest and brain were still sore!
How would he expect me to smoke more?
But I did …until the cigar became a half!
“As I voted for revenge, I travelled outside the country to study criminology not to be a CID but to be a criminal!….I sacrificed my 37 months to do and I graduated” he said and though I was listening to him, I smoked on as tears ran down my face.
The effect of the smoke was too much for my eyes!
“Then I came back to Nigeria, lured the girl into saying I wanted to marry her again and the bastard agreed! I administered slow poison into her sister and starved her sexually…” he laughed as I think he relived the whole thing in his head.
“Then, I refused to take care of her. Then, she was not feeling too well because of the poison in her system. I didn’t allow the poison to take much effect before I took her to Dubai on a pretentious visit. As I slashed at her throat and tore at her back in a house we lent in her name over there, she pleaded with me and revealed that it was not that she was in love with me that she promised to marry me then.” He swallowed and smiled ruefully.
I knew he loved the girl too well
“She gave me the names of her tribal people who asked her to marry me because of money and which I of course did before they in turn decided to kill me!”
“Wow!” I exclaimed and he shook his head
“Her boy friend was part of those people and when I finished killing her and left Dubai back for this country, he was the first person I went to execute.” He said. I looked so shocked
“Execute? You killed your girlfriend and his boy friend?” I asked, so amazed
“Yes I do. He was the first person that stabbed me and almost killed me before I got well eventually. I went to jail for 3 years but was released because of my good conduct in jail. Since then, I had been looking for the others so well that I would stalk people and get arrested.” He explained on and on and enjoyed every bit of his experience.
I don’t need to kill Doris at all!
Just a punch would do!
That would tell her that good husbands are really scarce in the real world!
Imagine what this man did to his own girlfriend!
As I thought about these things, the door of the cell opened and a policeman entered.
“Pelumi” he called out and I stood up
As I did, my head was very light and I saw men as trees.
“Come with me” he said and looking back at my new friend. The latter waved at me
“Do well bro!” he said and I nodded, feeling really dizzy
As I got to the door where the policeman was, a hand pulled me back and it was In-love again!
“Go!” he said and left me again.
I was shocked and looked into his face squarely
“I know you!” he said again and turned back to his floor bed.
I was shocked.
He knows me?
I looked into the policeman’s face and he shook his head
“He is not really well. He talks out of sense many times so no worries” he said and I was shocked
Out of sense?
This man didn’t seem to be crazy when he spoke with me earlier.
I was so confused!
“The IGP wants to see you” he said and I looked into his face
It is the IGP and not my mum?
IGP and not Doris?
As we walked down to his office, I was in a very troubled state of mind.
I thought I was going to be bailed out.
My heart dropped!
“Mr. Pelumi, how are you this evening?” he asked as I stood before him in his office.
“Thanks” that was all I said.
Since they didn’t have the discernment to know that I wasn’t at fault and had locked me in for a whole week without food, then they shouldn’t ask how I was.
That was so true!
I had not eaten good food for a whole week? Oh my!
“We need to a place urgently” he said to me and I looked into his face
“Where?” I asked and he looked into my face and paused
“In-love gave you some substance to use?” he asked, looking shocked
I bent my head in embarrassment
I saw him stand beside me and I was shocked
“I know you are a good man. I knew it immediately I saw you being dragged out of your compound that day.” He said and I looked up at him
“But my hands were tied because your wife is an high official of the UN. She used her name and the law to arrest you and we had no choice but to obey her and arrest you.” He said on and I looked on, enjoying the story
“I had my own underground check of the situation and since it is a week and she hadn’t come to either bail you out or proceed with any court statement, I decided to bring you out and intimate you with happenings during your absence.” He said and my heart started racing.
“Some things had happened?” I asked, shivering in my heart though I appeared to be very strong outside.
The tobacco had worked on me
“Yes a lot! But I can’t reveal them to you any longer” he said and went back to his seat.
I was amazed
“Why?” I asked, very sad and with my hands outstretched towards him.
He looked up at me
“Your hands were supposed to be in cuffs even as you stay before me. You were not supposed to be brought out of that cage until you are bailed or for further questioning and interrogation but I went against all our principles and brought you out. I brought you out because I felt you are a responsible person and that this thing happened just for a reason. I must have been wrong. I must have been so wrong!” he said and tears flowed down my face.
How do I tell this person that he had not been wrong about my personality?
How do I tell him that I am just as simple as anyone could be?
How on earth oh Lord?
As I sniffed in the mucus which was already running out of my nose, I went down on my knees, my hands in the air.
“You were not wrong IGP. You were so right about me! Situation had made me to be really bad this way. It isn’t anything I would have intentionally wanted to do” I cried
“That was what I thought too Mr. Pelumi. I felt that the alcohol in which smelt that day might have been as a result of your frustration. But what about today? What have you taken today again? Are you that loose?” he asked and I shook my head as I felt my last opportunity was gone.
“Corporal, please come and take him back to the cell” he announced into the phone on his phone.
I went close to him oooo!
I was shocked he didn’t push me away
“No sir. You can’t do that to me anymore sir. I am who you think I am sir. I was only frustrated was why I allowed them force me into taking what I took” I cried and the door opened.
The corporal was shocked to see me beside him that he rushed to the table but the IGP smiled and waved his hand
“Go.” He said and the corporal went out.
“If I am going to say anything to you, you must promise to be of good conduct no matter the situation” he said and I nodded
“No problem sir”
“You must be of good courage too” he said and my heart doubled in its race
“What is the problem sir?” I asked, my hands, so shaking visibly!
“All the revenge strategies you were taught by In-Love should be done away with as well because I know he must have delivered his injurious lectures to you. But for the bad administration before me, he would have been given a capital punishment but now that I am here, justice must take its full course” he said and I quivered
“He would be killed?” I asked and he smiled
“Let’s focus on your own matter. Forget about revenge. You understand?” he asked and I nodded
“Ok sir” I wasn’t sure if I was over revenge but I wanted to hear the gist- the full gist from the horse’s mouth
“ok then. Sit down and lets chat” he said and I obeyed him, watching his calm face with rapt attention
“I am listening sir” I said and he smiled a bit
“Just calm down, ehn?” he said and I smiled tensely
“when you were arrested last week, your mum fell as she ran after our van…” he was saying when I cut in
“Yes she fell….she fell o” I cried out when the IGP looked into my face angrily
“Don’t cut in till I am done Mr. Pelumi” he said and I held my lips with my shaky hands as I nodded, sweat already forming on my neck and nose
“So, when I realized that, we dropped you off, locked you in and I drove personally to your house.” He paused to see my reaction and although my hand was still holding my lips and my legs were shaking, my eyes had doubled in their sizes as well.
“I met your mum on the way to the station.” He said and I jumped up
“Where is she now?” I asked suddenly and when I saw his changed face, I sat back in my chair and smiled pretentiously.
“I am sorry sir. Continue sir” I said and he smiled a bit
“Everything is going to be okay. Don’t worry” he said again and I nodded
“I met her almost close to the station but not on her feet anyways. She had crawled from your house” he said and my heart stopped beating.
My mum crawled?
What had happened to her legs?
Why couldn’t she get a cab?
I didn’t mind the instruction of the policeman as I fell down to the floor and let out a very heart-rending shriek
The IGP hit me with a staff before I stopped and comported myself a bit.
“I can feel your pain Mr. Pelumi but you promised to comport yourself. Aren’t you a man?” he said, disappointed
I raised my hands again as tears flowed down my cheeks
I had been right all the way anyways- something bad had happened to my mum!
“The conclusion is that she is in the hospital right now” he said and I jumped up again
“How is she?” I asked
“Critically ill!” he said honestly and bluntly
“What are the chances of her surviving?” I asked and he smiled regrettably
“The doctor said 0.1%” he said and I let out a loud fart uncontrollably so that the IGP had to cover his nose with an hanky and move straight to the window to purify his nose
That means she wouldn’t survive it?
What happened to her?
The phone on the table rang and he moved to pick it up
“Hello doctor” he started and my ears stood straight
“What! …..oh my God! Right away!” he said hurriedly, put the phone in his pocket, picked up his keys and ran to the door.
“What about me?” I asked, almost stupidly
He looked back at me sharply
“If you promise to be of good behavior” he said and I jumped after him.
Many questions flooded my heart
To be of good conduct that he was talking about, what does it really means?
Does that mean that if I lose my mother and the only lifeline remaining for me, I should just keep calm and look on?
I should maintain peace?
The only prayer is that my mother should survive this whole ordeal.
If she doesn’t survive it, then, hell would be let loose!
No wonder my cell friend turned out that way!
Well, I wouldn’t turn bad for any love as he did!
I would turn bad in order to turn the whole world of that stupid, crazy witch I called a wife upside down!
******this is just the beginning*******
Watch out for 5
Sorry for the delay
God bless you.