(Did you miss Episode 7? Click here)
THE FIGHT FOR LOVE (A CHRISTIAN STORY BY DE-RACONTEUR)
I was inconsolable!
I wept for almost two hours not knowing what else to do and what killed me most was the fact that my husband was lying in our bed, not saying anything to me!
How can someone’s wife be crying and the person won’t be moved?
When I realized that all my strength was gone and that I couldn’t even lift a finger anymore, I remained on the rugged floor, sniffing wetly there.
After about thirty minutes that I was in that position, I heard the bed creak, my husband came close to me, helped me to stand up and led me to the bathroom.
I couldn’t say a word! I couldn’t lift my head! I was just too weak!
The whole world seemed to be against me! I didn’t know why; I didn’t know how it came to be but all I knew was that all around me smelt like hate!
My husband released some warm water on my head, washing my silky hair down my body, rinsed it perfectly and when he was done, he wrapped a towel round me and led me out again!
He did not say a single word to me!
I felt like pushing him away so he wouldn’t touch me anymore but I just couldn’t even raise my lip.
He sat me on a stool, picked up my hair dryer, plugged it and it started blowing hot into my hair. Soon, my hair was no longer wet. He rubbed in some castor oil and pulled it together with a black bond.
He applied some lotion on my body and wore me one of my favorite evening gowns. Afterwards, he pushed me with the swivel chair before my desk and opened my Bible before me.
He tore out a sticky note, scribbled something on it, gummed it on my prayer notes and pecked me slightly. He returned to the bed, covered himself with the duvet and shut his eyes.
Tears rushed to my eyes.
I asked myself series of questions not finding a single answer to just one of them. I was too overwhelmed!
I struggled and eventually bent my head to see what he had scribbled in the paper and my heart dropped and shattered to pieces.
It’s okay to cry. Yes, cry. But I hope your reason for crying is genuine. I hope it is not pretentious or cunning. I hope you are really repenting.
I turned to look at him on the bed and he looked so peaceful on the bed.
Have I been sinning that I need repentance?
It’s okay to cry?
“Ah….Lord!” My mouth uttered as soon as it opened. “Why…why…whhhhhyyyyyyy???” I screamed all of a sudden.
As soon as I started wailing, my husband alighted the bed and started walking to the door as if I was a plague to be avoided.
“Honey” I called out at once and he stopped in his tracks.
“Yes?” He answered without turning back.
“Can we please have a chat?”
“And you won’t shout or cry?” He asked and I swallowed.
Why is this man not emotional or even caring in the least? Why?
“I won’t shout. I won’t cry” I said and he came back to the bed and sat in it. He wasn’t in anyway looking into my face.
“I want you to please tell me the truth as I ask you these questions” I started and he nodded.
“Why are you not a good husband? Why?” I asked as calmly as I could and he nodded.
“The Lord is the judge of that my wife. If I am good husband to you or not, God is the witness and you are a witness as well, except you want to lie”
“Lie?” I raised my voice and when he gave me a knowing look, I lowered it. “How have you been a good husband to me? How?” I asked my voice really shaken. He sat right and picked up his Bible.
“This is the Word of God. It tells me to love you like I love myself! Don’t I do that?”
“Let’s check it out. When the Lord says I should love you as Himself, what did he mean?”
“You tell me”
“Of course, I will”
“Christ gave Himself to us! I give myself to you. My body, my spirit, my soul! I don’t deny you in bed, never! I pray for you, I love you deeply. I hate to see you hurt”
“So, why was I crying and you didn’t even flinch? You didn’t move an inch!” I started sobbing.
“I was not happy seeing you hurt! It saddened me but your tears were needed. You needed to cry and repent and change!”
“Am I a sinner? I am your wife. How am I a sinner?”
“Should I start telling you how?” He asked and chuckled.
“Yes I want to know”
“I will tell you but let us be clear on one thing. I love you. I give my body to you, I give my prayers to you, I give my love to you in public and in the private, I give my money to you, I give my respect to you, I give my help to you, I give you my all, my time, my energy, my warmth, every single time, any day! Is that correct?” He asked and there was silence as I sobbed.
He was totally right!
I had always been judgmental of him and all but to be frank, he had been all to me that the Lord had said a man should be to a wife.
“But have you been a good wife to me?” He dropped suddenly and I frowned slightly as I scanned my heart.
“Yes I have”
“I gave you two beautiful ladies. I train them up in the way of the Lord. I treat you well in bed, I help your ministry and support you every time”
“Is that what a wife should be to her husband according to the Bible?”
“No my wife! Submission is the real key! Reverence! Do you really submit to and reverence me? In the public, you can easily shout me down and call me names! Your husband!” He said with pains in his eyes and my heart dropped.
I didn’t know. I didn’t know I wasn’t doing what God had instructed.
“You are literally the pastor of our church while I am just a figure head! You fill the whole space. You count all my grammatical errors and correct me in front of the church, our new visitors, our children! You reduce me to nothing but what do I do? I pray for you, I correct you even when you shut me down, I still treat you well and wouldn’t revenge. Every single person can testify that I have been a good man to you but have you?”
I bowed my head at that and started crying silently.
How could someone be this right and accurate? How?
“If you had been kind of 50% not too nice before now, immediately the marriage issue of Mo started, you became 100% strange and strange!” He said and I sobbed louder.
“You talk to me anyhow! You talk to Mo anyhow and treat her testimony as trash! A whole pastor, national pastor came over here to talk to you but there was no honour or regard for the man. You talked him down and walked him out! You seized your daughter’s phone and operated it as if it was her. You lie easily, deceive easily, despise the Word of God easily and you have become so proud and arrogant! You talk and everyone must stand still! You uphold Bible Life Church above what the Word of God says and not only that, you are acting as a matchmaker! You want to matchmake your daughter with someone you barely know…”
“I know him! I know him well! He is the son of the National Pastor of Singapore!” I burst out and he shook his head.
“No wonder! Because of connection, you wanted to become their in-law right?” He asked and I couldn’t answer him.
He was so correct!
Immediately I met Mrs. Ariyo, Dada’s mum at a programme, I fell in love with her grandeur and really envied her position. She looked well connected that I knew that being her in-law would make me a great figure to reckon with also in the church.
At 60years old, my grandmum and granddad were already National Pastors.
At that same age, my own parents were already State Pastors.
But I was the same age and my husband and I had not even left the Province stage. It was so tiring for me especially when I knew that we had more spiritual anointing that those that have been placed over us.
I realized that Dada Ariyo was Mrs. Ariyo’s son and to cut the long story short, one day, he came over me after service, asking me to greet Mo. He said hi should tell her ‘Happy birthday’ that he saw the notification on Facebook.
I decided to come in at that point when I realized he was attracted to my daughter till he voiced out to me that he would love to marry my daughter. I approved it and asked him to go tell the Marriage Council.
It hadn’t really dawned on me that I was being manipulative and selfish but with the discussion I was having with my husband, it was so clear- sadly clear!
“And I am sure you were the one that approached him, advertised your daughter saying ‘Have you considered my daughter, Mo?’ Wasn’t you?”
“Yes, I was. I won’t lie, I was” I burst out crying. The allegations were just too much and to even kill it all, they were not mere allegations, they were so true!
“I wanted my daughter to get married in the church and…”
“The church is one! There are no three or four or thousands of churches, the church is one even as our Christ is one!” He said firmly. “We are not talking about so called assemblies that worship strange gods and burn incenses and carry out some fetish rituals, no! Those obviously have shifted their focus from Christ to other things. Those are not a part of the Body of Christ obviously”
“Yes, that’s what I am saying. Not all assemblies out there are churches indeed”
“No, not all. It is not only members of Bible Life Church that will make Heaven! Not at all! Members of The Way of the Cross Church where Emmy attends who are ready when the rapture takes place will also make it to Heaven!”
“And many of our own church members who are not ready when the trumpet sounds will not hear the sound of the Trumpet!” He said and I sighed.
“But you didn’t like the Emmy before. How did you suddenly come to…”
“I was only supporting you because I felt you were really guiding the child out of your mother’s care. Immediately I prayed about it and I realized that Emmy is the real deal, I tried talking to you but you just wouldn’t hear.”
“Emmy?” I shrugged Hmmmm….I seriously desire my daughter marries in the church though”
“It is well with you!” He said with a finality and I sighed. I didn’t even know what to again.
“Where did it all go wrong for me then? When did I become a monster that you have described?”
“There was one word I got as I prayed for you”
“Religion! You have become really religious!”
“How do you know if you have a religious spirit? I will tell you.” He said and I nodded as I picked up my writing material.
It broke my ego to admit that I had been acting strange but if Mo could shout at me and scream that I should ‘Wake up!’, I knew that something must be really wrong with me.
I wanted to see if I could fix it! I wanted to see if I could become Mo’s sweet mother again.
“One sign that you have become religious is that You are always critical of other people’s walk with God. You think that every other person doesn’t know how to serve or walk with God well. You are the best and no one else does it any better”
“Another sign is that you perform Christian duties but have no passion or hunger for God. Everyone who sees you see fire but you know that deep inside, you are as cold as ice!”
“Ah! Oluwa mi o!”
“Also, you desire position and honor in the church more than honor from God”
“I do that! I do that!” I had started crying.
“Another salient sign is that your identity is rooted in a lifestyle of Christianity instead of in Christ. You are prouder of what church you attend, who you are in the church than who you are in Christ or what you are in Christ!”
“Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus” I wailed as each of my husband’s word hit me strongly.
“You know about the truth of Jesus but not the way of Jesus. He said, ‘Don’t do this’ and all, you know that but how to stop doing it, you do not know! You have the form of godliness but you lack the power of godliness”
Tears poured out of my eyes heavily.
“You project righteousness but inwardly, you are filled with anger and resentment”
“I am! I am!” I fell to my knees, buried my face in my bed and wept.
“I am so happy that you know.” He said and paused. “How can a mother hate her own daughter so much so that the daughter even knows?”
“She hates me too!”
“She hates you? Can’t you even see that she craves to have your attention? Someone would intentionally call you ‘Mo’s mum’ just to have you correct it and say ‘I am your mother too’ but you condoned it!”
“Well. She has brought me more pain that anyone has in this world”
“Yes! At a very early age, she stained our name! She got impregnated by one foo…”
“Fool? Have you seen?” He snickered. “You curse easily now too” He said and I sighed. I was really having an embittered heart towards Mola.
“She got impregnated and she bore you a grandchild….”
“At age sixteen!”
“It is of course painful! But she lost the child! She lost the church and promised never to do anything immoral again! She said it was even her first time ever trying it. Does it mean you should hate her? Does it mean you should curse at her and neglect her? Don’t you know that she has a good heart? Of course, she does! If she doesn’t have a good heart, she would have hurt Mo but she loves her still! If not because of your attitude, she might have even come to the faith! You keep pushing her out!” He said and I sighed.
“I don’t know. the thing is just painful anyway. She got pregnancy for one guy that doesn’t even…chai! She stained us! She did!”
“And she is changed! She might not be saved yet but she is changed in that regards. If the Lord rubs your offence in your face, you won’t be standing here talking! Christ loves us regardless! You should love others too regardless!”
“Christ loves us regardless!”
“Regardless my dear! Regardless!”
“Lord, I’m so sorry. I am really so sorry. I don’t even know what to do again. I am so sorry, Lord.”
My husband stood up and looked into my face questionably.
“I can’t believe this is my wife!” He broke out into a large smile. I had not seen him smile like that in a long while. “Should I really start jumping and dancing or what?” He asked and I started crying as I went down on my knees.
“Pray for me! Bless me, my husband! Forgive me! Just bless me, I pray. I am so sorry” I cried, holding on to his knees as I wept harder. My husband rose his hands up high.
“Lord, I am thankful to You for making Mo speak out at my wife! If she had not spoken out, she might have remained indifferent to all that has been happening in this house. Lord, I worship You….” He continued.
I said ‘Amen’ as much as I could.
Of course, the Lord used Mo for me! He did!
Have mercy on me oh Lord!
I looked towards the dining section and saw the back view of one of my daughters. It looked like Mo but the hairstyle looked like Mola’s. As I walked down the stairs, it seemed more like Mola but she was humming a Christian song- ‘Amazing Grace’
It can’t be her!
Going close to her, I realized it was Mola. She raised a cup of coffee to her mouth and bit a small portion of toast in her mouth. She saw me and nodded in greeting.
“You are going out?”
“To see a guy?” I teased. I wanted to start a conversation but her face looked so scary when she looked up at me. It seemed like I had pressed a wrong button.
“Hmm hmm…I can’t see a guy?”
“Mosun, I want you to give your life to Jesus!” I said but my girl dropped her cup angrily and raised her hands at me.
“Mummy Mo, abeg abeg, no start o, please. With all the Jesus crises in the house, I should come and add my own join, rara o.”
“And that’s not it o…”
“It is how ma? Abeg let me date whoever I want to date. I will date my soldier boyfriend” She said and my head sparked.
“Wo ma, don’t even try to stop me o. I am Mosunmola, not Mopelola o. I no go gree! If you push me anyhow, I will just run away with him to America and do a sitting room wedding there”
“Ehn?” I frowned, my heart running really wild.
“Yeah! And I will post the pictures on Facebook and Instagram and tag all your church members so that they will see I am not bound by your rules!”
“Mol…” I exclaimed, tears almost rushing to my eyes.
“Mummy Mo, don’t even cry o. Don’t! You people almost convinced me to believe in God and the Will of God but with the cold and civil wars in this house since how many months now, who will believe those lies?” She screamed on and on.
“Mosunmola my darling daughter, I am sorry. I am so sorry” I said in a very soothing way as I could. She looked up into my eyes, her brows knitted.
“Me? You darling daughter? When? How?” She kept asking and I smiled at her.
“Please forgive me for everything that….”
“Mummy, abeg stop this…” She said still looking shocked. I smiled largely as it felt good in my body.
“You called me mummy! You called me mummy!!”
“When did I? I didn’t o” She denied, looking away from my face.
“You did! And I am so excited!” I said and she gasped.
“Since when have you been starved of the name mummy? Doesn’t your daughter Mo call you that?”
“It’s good to hear you too call me mummy! It’s been years” I said as tears ran down my face. She looked into my face and away shyly.
“What’s this woman doing? C’mon stop! If you are doing this thinking that I will help convince Mo, ah, you lie o”
“No! Not because of that!”
“Because of why then?”
“Because I am so sorry. I am really sorry for being a bad mother to you! I am sorry for being unforgiving towards you! I am sorry for throwing you away when you needed me most. I am so sorry” I cried on as I went on my knees.
“Don’t kneel before me! Don’t!” She tried to pull me up but I wouldn’t leave her legs so she knelt before me too, still frowning.
“Just leave me! I am the old one out of your children. I chose the wrong path, I….” She started and looking into her face, I saw someone who was love-thirsty. I wrapped my hands round her neck and wept.
“I was disappointed but I lingered in my disappointment for too long! I pushed away from the Lord! I didn’t act like a Christian”
“No you didn’t” My almighty Mola broke down in tears. “I am sorry too. I am so sorry. I didn’t act like a good child. I disrespected you. I hated you. I called you names. That was so bad of me. That was so bad of me” She wept on.
We stayed in that position for a long time, crying and petting each other, laughing at each other’s red nose and crying again. The peace that followed the warm embrace was enthralling!
I heard the shuttering sounds of a camera from upstairs and I saw my husband looking down at us with a camera in his hand and a large smile in his face.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 9.
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