Written by Deborah Oye.

Preparations began in earnest as soon as the date for my wedding to kolade was fixed.

Kolade is a young intelligent, handsome, spiritual and hardworking brother. He was anything any woman would want in a man. I met him at the Christian student’s fellowship back then in zamfara state.

I was posted to the federal university in the state capital where kolade happened to be a post graduate student running his Masters program. For me, it was a privilege to be posted to a federal university when other corp members were posted to primary and secondary schools. Maybe because I had bagged a first class degree in Physics Education.

As a way of service and commitment to  God, I joined the fellowship choir and gave my time to it. When the choir master noticed I had a sweet and sonorous voice, he made me solo our songs almost every Sunday. Now, I guess that was how kolade knew and developed interest in me.

I remember vividly after one of the Sunday services, he approached me and commended the way I sang. In his exact words with a charming smile he said

“Hello sister, good day! I want to truly appreciate the grace of God upon your life. I enjoyed today’s ministration and I love the way you sing. Please keep it up and may God’s anointing upon your life never run dry”

I smiled, said Amen to his prayers and gave all glory to God. When I turned to leave, he called back and requested for my phone number which I gave to him.

Somehow he was no longer a stranger, at least I’d seen him over and over again and with his zeal towards God’s work, everyone easily noticed him.
We got talking and in no time we became good friends.

Brother Kola as he was fondly called in the fellowship was the Bible study leader of the group I belonged to in the fellowship. We saw each other often, shared the word of God together in our small group of five.

A few months later, the pastor in charge of our fellowship called me to his office saying he wanted to discuss an important issue with me. In my heart, I wondered what it was and secretly hoped that all was well. Boom! He drooped the bomb shell.

“Sister Lolade, have you been praying for God’s will in marriage?….”

A lot of thoughts flew through my mind. I wanted to know why he asked. Could it be that someone had mentioned me to him?

“Well Sir, I’ve been praying but I’ve not been really intentional about it.”

“Alright then, if it is your desire to be married, I want you to be intentional about it. Prayerfully ask God to lead and show you the way.  Remember, you’re not getting any younger”

I thanked him and left his office. I began to ask myself if I was even ready for marriage. I prayed to God and asked him to have his way in my life. All I wanted was to be at the centre of his will for my life even in the area of marriage.

As time went on, I received a confirmation from God saying Kola was the one for me. Due processes were followed and we were set to get married. But two days to our wedding, a secret I had successfully locked up for three years came haunting for me.

Donald whom I had messed up myself with while on campus came blackmailing. He threatened to tell my fiancé and everyone who knew me that he deflowered me and of course that I had aborted twice and that had tampered with my uterus. As a result, I would be unable to conceive except a miracle happens. I had planned to keep that a secret for life and hope for a miracle baby with Kola. What Donald needed to keep his mouth shut was my body.

I was left with two options. To tell the truth and be free or let Donald have his way.

Ahhhh! The shame will be too much to be bear.

How will I handle the insults and mockery?

How will those who look up to me feel?

What will they say?

These questions ran through my mind as I thought of what to do next.

But they said when you try to hide sin, you sin the more. It’s true! I gave in to Donald. I let him have his way just because I wanted people to have the picture of a perfect christian lady whenever they see me or hear my name.

I went to the hotel where he told me he was waiting for me. He gave me the room details so it was an easy task locating him. When I got there, he welcomed me with a bottled of red wine.

“Don’t worry, it’s not alcoholic” he said. I took a sip and started feeling dizzy, he had drugged the wine. I didn’t even know when I fell asleep. He did whatever he wanted to do with me.

The effects of the drug lasted for quite a while and my wedding to kola was to hold the next morning.

How did I get myself into such a mess?

What will I tell my fiancé, family, friends and everyone? It wouldn’t make any sense to tell them I abandoned my wedding to cover up for my dirty past.

I should have confessed!

I should have told them the truth and suffer the consequences.

I woke up in the middle of the night and found myself in a very terrible state.

‘Oh no! What have I done!’ Tears flowed freely from my swollen eyes down my cheeks. I betrayed God and my loved ones. I betrayed all those who believed in me. Will they ever forgive me?

I tapped Donald who eas lying down on the bed like a lifeless human, he didn’t move. I did it again and again before he finally woke up with an angry face.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I have to get back home and prepare for my wedding” I said.

“Don’t you know that the time is? Let me have a peaceful sleep please. Deal with that. It’s your business not mine” He replied. 

Ahhhh, I’m doomed!

I had no choice than to wait till morning to quickly rushed home.

My parents were worried, they were unable to reach me before I returned home. I had switched off my phone and none of my friends knew where I went or what I had been up to.

“Lolade, where have you been? What happened to you? Why is your face swollen? Aren’t you supposed to be set for your wedding?” Asked my father. I didn’t know where to start narrating from as tears kept flowing.

Somehow, I opened up  and told them the whole truth. I could see the shock and disappointment on their faces. My mother almost cried her eyeballs out.

” What have you done to yourself?” she asked.

“We brought you up in a godly way and made sure all your needs were met. Why did you give the devil a chance in your life?” My dad continued.

All I did was cry, I was full of regrets but there was little I could do. The mistakes had been made, I couldn’t turn back the hands of the clock. I didn’t know how to face kola- he truly loved me.

I couldn’t attend my own wedding, the wedding I had prepared for in months. Guilt wouldn’t let me. Kola waited in vain for me in church.

The wedding didn’t hold, the bride was absent!

Kola found out later and was so disappointed. He didn’t expect such from me.

I missed my wedding.

I couldn’t see my betrothed husband.

Hey brother, sister, mummy, daddy, uncle and aunty, just before you point an accusing finger on Lolade in the story above, pause and have a rethink.

Is your life a picture of hers? If the trumpet should sound today, I mean right now, will you make it to heaven?

Will you be among those who will be caught up to meet the lord in the air?

Don’t you know that sinful life you’re living will hold you back?

Don’t you know that dark secret you’re trying to hide can make you miss the marriage supper of the Lamb in heaven above?

As a bride of Christ, is your life pure?

Are your actions sinless?

Is your character worthy?

Are your ways clean?

Are your words edifying, are the places you go to pleasant to God?

Are the company of friends you keep godly?

Does your dressing or appearance seek to glorify God?

Is your whole life pleasing to God?

Don’t you know that without holiness, no man shall see the lord?

Don’t you know that Christ our groom desires a spotless and a blameless bride?

Don’t you know that whatever your hiding today will stand against you on the day of judgement?

Don’t you know there will be no way of escape if you neglect the way of salvation?

Expose the skeleton in your cupboard before it exposes you to eternal doom and damnation in hell.

Please do all it takes not to miss your wedding to Jesus.

Do all it takes, bear the shame, face the consequences of your actions.

Confess all sins and accept Jesus into your heart today. God is a merciful God, no matter how great your sins seem, he is ever ready to forgive as long as you confess in sincerity.

Do not be deceived, there’s only one way to God- only one way to eternity in heaven.

JESUS is the one true way, accept him today.


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