OUR SISTER HAS NO BREASTS

OUR SISTER HAS NO BREASTS!

Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle

Some guys were caught misbehaving in the chapel and the chaplain had asked them to quote five verses in the Bible each.

The verses they could quote apart from Gen 1:1 and John 3:16 were from the Book of Songs of Solomon!

The day our chaplain shared this with us, we could only laugh over it.

Today, I stumbled on the verse again and the nostalgia it brought made me dig deeper until I got another revelation of it.

Songs of Solomon 8:8

We have a little sister and she hath no breasts; what shall we do for our little sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

Let’s break it down a bit.

My brother: We have a little sister and her name is Lizzy. She has no breasts. What shall we do for lizzy when any man comes to ask for her hand in marriage?

Now, lets wait there.

The verse in another sense does not refer to the twin tower on the chest of a woman.

They could mean a lot of things.

You don’t know how to spend or save.

You don’t know how to pray or intercede.

You can only put water on fire and probably boil some eggs but simple Eba you cannot turn.

You haven’t learnt anything about how to take care of children.

You have just nothing at all to show off.

My sister, you are breastless!

You don’t know how to talk;

You don’t know how to dress well;

You are stinkingly dirty;

Your white undies are brown and yellow already;

The skin between your two laps has become hard and dark;

Your teeth and hair are eyesores;

You are addicted to movies that you can have your three square meal served you before your laptop with the three used plates littering round you at night.

Mine mine, you are ‘breastless’!

You hate people correcting you;

You are proud, mannerless and you don’t know how to talk;

You are ready to slap anyone that speaks against your views;

You just can’t bend, you are too pretty for anyone to talk to anyhow.

No wonder! Its no wonder why you are still praying and nothing seems to happen. It could be the reason why the brother hasn’t even approached you yet.

He is still fighting the Holy Spirit as he is just so scared.

“How do I talk to this lousy, dirty lady?… Tufiakwa Lord, kindly reconsider! ”

My sisters, increase your intake in calcium, iron and vitamins, make your meals balanced again and your shape would start coming out.

Your breasts can still grow!

The nutrients are surely found when you sincerely bury yourself in prayer and the Word of God and you make conscious efforts to obey when they prescribe.

Learn to pray and put your temperament under control!

Stop shouting or looking down on people.

Learn to cook different dishes even if you don’t like them because you just never can tell.

Learn to take your baths well and wash your parts with care yet great tenacity.

Carry yourself with such smartness and dignity and not with dragging of legs and all.

If you need a change of wardrobe, May God provide. Just take all the shabby, skimpy, oversized, short clothes away.

May God help us all to be very breastful so that our men/women and children would be gladly satisfied and call us blessed.

P.S: I sincerely hope the guys know that this epistle is talking to them too. May God help us all. Amen