THE LONGING FOR MARRIAGE (A Christian Story)
Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Yakubu
So, the selfie above was taken the day my husband came to propose to me.
I was scrolling through my gallery today and found the pictures so I want to share something with you about it.
N.B- This blogpost is for singles-. Sisters especially.
The way a guy proposes in my church is this: You go to the Marriage Committee of the church, inform them of your interest in Sister B, go for medical tests and when you are found okay, the sister is sent for. She is asked to go for tests too and if you are both found to be medically compatible, the brother would be informed to go propose to the sister.
On this day, the pastor had informed me that someone was coming from Zaria to propose to me and I was set. That day, I was so excited in my spirit. The Holy Spirit had been saying all sort to me about my husband since about five years before that time and as you can see in the picture, I was so tensed. I couldn’t wait to see if all the Holy Spirit had told me was true. I couldn’t wait to test that of a truth God still leads in my generation, in this age.
I secretly and silently told God that it must be this guy! This guy that I had not even known well or been friends with but whose love had engulfed my heart. Let it be him Lord.
My hands were cold. My heart was racing. My veins were palpitating.
‘Let it be him Lord’ I prayed. Some brothers had come to propose before that time but ‘the one’ was not amongst them!
‘I want to be shocked today! I want to know that You really still speak to men! Let it be him Lord. Then, I will tell the whole world that You are real’ I prayed silently.
I had never felt more desirous of a wonderful relationship like I did that time. I panted after it, fasted for it, prayed for it, read about the successful ones, read about the failed ones, saw movies on godly marriages, discussed real life experiences with women of like passions. Ah…I was thirsty! It was more than anything! I just felt so incomplete. I am telling you.
As I sat, waiting for the ‘brother’ to come propose, I prayed. I couldn’t afford another ‘Not the one’ brother coming to propose to me.
‘Before the end of this year, I must be in that relationship that You spoke about Lord. The relationship that You promised me. I can’t wait Lord’
And if anyone comes to meet me or ask ‘Are you praying’ bla bla bla, I would tell the person expressly that ‘I am praying o.’ ‘Or do you want to go for your PhD first?’ I would laugh and tell them that I will go for PhD o but I will marry too. Hahaha…I wouldn’t say ‘Is it husband I will eat? Is husband all that matters?’
It is not good for a man to be alone! IT IS NOT GOOD FOR A WOMAN TO BE ALONE TOO
Getting married isn’t all that matters but it is a major part of all that matters- especially getting married right!
You know I want to get married Lord. You know that I seriously have that longing and I can’t just settle for the less because of the longing. And if I miss it in marriage Lord, ah, what else? I see bad things on the net. People tell me You do not lead again but Lord, I believe You still do. I do believe. The thing is so certain. You spoke since a long time ago and You are still standing on Your promises. So, Lord, make him be the one coming’
I was so tensed and anxious that I just knew I had to take these pictures and keep them. Hahaha..
When my pastor announced that he was around, I shook!
I peeped out of the window and saw my pastor coming. Looking eagerly behind him, I realized that there was a man following him but he was different from my husband. Ugh! He was quite elderly and ‘daddyish’….ah…
Well, I had to encourage myself in the Lord and suddenly, looking closely, I saw the tall, dark, slim, sweet guy in white shirt follow them!
ERU OLORUN DE BA MI! (The fear of the Lord enveloped me!)
From that moment till the proposal was over, the feeling that took hold of me was too spectacular!
That story is for another day. I have promised to tell you the full story some day and a blog is being built to that effect. So, watch out and pray along for its success. Thank you.
Where am I going to today?
Even if you will not be sincere with man. Even if you pretend before a man that you are okay, and fine and really ‘independent’, don’t pretend before yourself and God!
It is good for a woman to be well developed and fulfilled and most of all get the bearing of what God wants her to be in life but when she decides to dwell on that at the expense of this vital area of life, it is not balanced. I tell you that if you are in the center of the Will of God, the husband you get married to will even help you attain this height that God wants you to attain!
God would never give you a man that will kill your dreams and weigh you down spiritually! He won’t!
When your friends are preaching ladies ‘being okay alone’ and you decide to follow just because you are friends with such persons, ah, kontinu o. Don’t you know that we have different elasticity points? This lady might stay till 40 and not feel anything for marriage and you will see someone of 22 craving sincerely for marriage- godly marriage and getting it!
If you know you are not mature yet. You are a nun. You are not ready. You can’t feel the need yet. You can’t bring yourself to accepting the ‘headship’ of a man…ehn ehn…you can stay single like that till something or a change comes around. But if you can feel the void and you are pretending to everyone that you are ‘independent’ or ‘happy alone’ and you even pretend to God that ‘I don’t really need a man’ or something like that, ah, you are missing o.
Some people will just lie to themselves that they are okay. You can see inside of them that they do desire companionship but they are not being sincere with themselves about it.
Ah. I was sincere o. I was sincere with myself. I got to a point that the Holy Spirit filled me with the hunger, that thirst, that hole, that longing for marriage! I was always telling God about it! I wouldn’t sop telling myself about how I felt too.
‘I want to marry and I will. I won’t miss it. Ah, Lizzy, you will not miss o. Lailai! You will be a wise woman. You will get it right…’ I would communicate with myself.
When I discuss with my ‘mentors’ in this ‘marital assignment’ and they share some deep things with me, I would slap my shaky laps as my heart skips excitedly. ‘Lizzy, can you hear that? You are the one she is talking too o. Listen attentively!’
I was not shy to tell man about it too. Ask my roommates during my Masters and they will tell you.
‘Kai! I want to marry o. I want to marry o’ Hahahaha…I screamed it in the ears of my friends till it got to the ears of the Lord, my Father! I cried before my Father till it got to the ears of my husband!
What of before my mum? When my mum starts to ask ‘questions’ I wouldn’t hide and form and say ‘Ah, mummy I am not ripe yet o. I want to do these things before I get married o. let marriage rest jare’ No! I would be clear. ‘It is well o mummy. That was why I said you should join me in prayers. Me too I want to get married nah. The desire is greater in me than in you sef’ I would tell her and we would laugh over it. But I had conveyed my message already. Right? Hahaha
I am not saying you should go and be telling brothers- both singles and married of this longing of yours o. Naaaah!
Neither am I saying you should go meet ‘spiritual matchmakers’….nah!
I am only saying that you shouldn’t pretend before them that you are a nun. Or that, you are bigger than marriage. I wasn’t always expressing my mind to everybody. But the people who I knew would join me in prayers and give me rich advices, I never left their sides!
When next you go to the Presence of God, remember that there is no formality. Remember that you can tell Him how you feel exactly. Remember that You can bare it all before Him!
‘I desire to be married Lord’
‘There’s a longing in my heart for marriage Lord’
‘Before the end of this year, I desire a godly home Lord’
‘Reveal the path You want me to tread to have this longing satisfied in the Name of Jesus.’
Stop strangling the feeling because you keep hearing bad news about marriages around you! Marriage is hard work, you, under the direction of the Holy Spirit will join hands with your husband and make it work!
That others are failing in their marriages does not guarantee your own marital failure too!
You should simply ask God to satisfy the longing with the best ‘water’ not just with any ‘water’ from the gutters or the pig’s sty.
This should not in any way make you desperate!…Naaah!!!
When you start becoming desperate too, tell God about it!
When you start becoming disinterested, tell God about it!
And if anyone comes to tell you that you really do not need a man and that you should come together to form the ‘Successful Singles Group’ but you can feel that you really do feel what that person feels- that you need an authority to submit to; you need that companionship etc. You know that it’s not because of sex or parents’ hastenings or child bearing and all alone but there is this special longing you have, throw the philosophy of that person away.
It is not good for a man to be alone! IT IS NOT GOOD FOR A WOMAN TO BE ALONE TOO OOOOO!
Your man is being alone in the cold, all alone at night, hugging the pillow and asking God to bring you and you are here saying whaaaat?
But I must tell you that you need to have that longing for marriage for you to appreciate the marriage when you enter it. When you enter marriage because everyone is getting married, you only want to go and frustrate your man!
Tell the Holy Spirit to plant the longing in your heart so that you can know when the time really is ripe for you to enter into a relationship.
‘Lord, feel me with longing for this marriage Lord. I desire to see reasons for marriage. You looked at marriage when You created it and You said it was good! I also want this good gift. Give it to me oh Lord!’
We are in a prayerless generation, no wonder different lies are being fabricated and swallowed up by everyone! Enough is enough!
Marriage is still good!
Godly marriages still exist!
It is hard work indeed- a joint one that the husband and the wife must be ready to take up!
Do not let the failures of other women shape your thinking!
You can make it better!
DO NOT LIE WHEN YOU FEEL THE NEED FOR LOVE!!!