…before you say yes…


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“Liz, would you marry me?” Dave said as he dropped on his knees.
I looked up from the bowl of ice cream I was eating.
What date is it?
It’s not April, most definitely, so it can’t be April fool!
My smile vanished…
What’s wrong with Dave?
Dave and I have been friends for over three years now and I really do love him. He is wonderful, loving, caring and summarily, he is a cool guy.
There was absolutely nothing he didn’t possess-in the positive and the only thing I could say that I didn’t like about him was that he prayed too much!…It’s good though but you know all these excesses- that was all I thought about prayer.
Despite how much I loved and cherished this guy, I never ever thought that Dave could think of getting married to me. Yes, I am a cool girl, I could cook, I could laugh, I could be a good friend, I could do a few good things but no! I didn’t see myself as someone so serious spiritually.
I just don’t worth Dave!

What about these sisters in our school fellowship…Sister Benita, Sister Kemmy, Sister Marvie, Sis Timmy, Sister Kenny…the list of the ‘Spiritual’ sisters I had envisaged for my best friend was limitless.

“Liz, would you please love me for who I am and marry me? Would you look beyond my weaknesses and say yes?” Dave asked on, I looked deeply into his eyes…are those tears or mist?
I have always been a very frank, blunt and independent gal. Never have I said what I didn’t mean. If I hate your wedding cloth, I would tell you. If you told me I looked good just for me to tell you look good too, forget it darling, I would say what you really looked like- a pig, a fowl, a vulture or a peacock! All these things just left me and I left them when Dave preached sanctification to me but my dear, I could be still be very truthful, to a fault!
“Should I say yes to Dave? Do I really want to marry him? Do I really want him to be the head over me?” I didn’t want to hurt him but neither did I want to hurt myself.
Absent-mindedly, I pulled him off his knees, closed the ring box and put it in his pocket. He looked at me, so closely, I saw fear in his eyes but I was not ready to reassure him.
We moved to a gossip chair. We sat down and I faced him. There was silence- exactly what I needed at the time.
If I say yes to Dave, I am agreeing to the fact that:
He would be my head- could I bear to tell him ‘sir’ or at least reckon him as my first?
He would have access to my body-inside out. –was I ready for this? Was it meant to be him that would climb me? Could I always give myself to him willing without any endurance?
He would be my children’s father. – would I really want my children to call him daddy?
His family members would become mine- would I really take his family members as mine? Would I enjoy them and not endure them?
We would do virtually everything together…our finances, our hobby, everything!

I am saying yes to his breath, to his odor, to the way he would scatter shoes all around, to his excessive neatness, to his snores, to his talkativeness, to his boredom, to his stinginess, to his excessive giving, to his love or intolerance for children, to his long long hours of prayers!, to his dislike for maggi, crayfish, sea foods, spaghetti, snacks, to his love for pounded yam, Fufu, Tuwo and all these real local foods that I don’t like?…owww, my disgust for locust beans!, to my new discoveries of who he really is as our marriage grows…

I am saying yes to all of him! Could I really say yes?
I felt peace. I felt satisfaction. Dave had always told me that if I feel that way, it could be the Holy Spirit. Is it You sir?
I looked at him from head to toes.
Would I ever be proud to say ‘Hey, this is my husband?’
His love came pouring upon me like I am under the shower, hindering me from doing my final judgment.
The Holy Spirit whispered into my ears “It’s good you took your time to check him out but whatever I have called clean, no one calls it unclean. Whenever I say yes, no one says no. Come on stop wasting my boy’s time!”
All was still!
I looked at the most patient man in the world before me and accepted him! Wholeheartedly, all his strength, weaknesses, his past, his present, his future, his inabilities, his lack, his desires, his family, himself
“Dave, not that I am the perfect girl or that you are the perfect man, but putting all on the scale and measuring correctly with the Holy Spirit’s gauge, I say yes!”
His face shone brightly and he drew me close to himself, hugged me so tightly with his eyes closed in appreciation, I smiled happily and allowed my first real embrace to come from him- my husband!
I smelt his sweat, the result of his pursuit for my ‘yes’
I said yes! My body said yes! My spirit said yes!
Welcome my husband!



  1. Japo

    24/01/2016 at 7:50 PM

    Just imagining how Dave would feel the shiver down his spine after the Yes, then the peace that flows in d heart after the embrace.
    Putting God as the fulcrum to lead us to our second half is just the only way to go.He made the perfect match for us.
    Like Dave, he has just found a good thing and obtained favour from God.

  2. Khemzy Nita

    24/01/2016 at 8:53 PM

    Hmmm, this is really interesting. God is the only criteria for accepting our spouses. A “YES” from God has cancelled or nullify many a million “No”.

    Thanks for sharing ma’am. Those questions were really an eye opener. Although, what God has called clean Noone calls unclean.

    Nevertheless, it’s a good check.

    Gracia muchas …

    1. De-Raconteur - Oyekunle Elizabeth Oyebola

      24/01/2016 at 9:44 PM

      Fenks so much my momma… Lol… True talk

  3. Adeleke Julianah

    24/01/2016 at 9:06 PM

    A real eye opener!
    Rushing is so much the thing for the desperate.
    Better take your time to go I so you won’t rush out.
    Beautiful and mind opening!

    1. De-Raconteur - Oyekunle Elizabeth Oyebola

      24/01/2016 at 9:46 PM

      Fenks ma’am. Much thanks… That’s true tho

  4. Ojebiyi Favour

    24/01/2016 at 10:49 PM

    Great piece!!!! I’m learning… Storing this for the future when it’ll be needed… More grace, More knowledge!!!

  5. Oluwatimilehin

    25/01/2016 at 1:38 AM

    Really good check I must say, rather than being overwhelmed at the sight of a “kneeling” guy. The check is worth it, however, God’s approval is paramount and it sure nullifies of doubt.
    Hmmmm, this “Dave”…. Hmmmmmm

  6. Adeleye Peter

    25/01/2016 at 3:01 AM

    Wooow, what a nice and touching story. What if Liz said ‘no’ to Dave, i wonder how Dave will feel. Anyway, Aunty Lizzy, more grace. I pray you will not miss it in marriage. Invite me for your wedding o, i’m serious.

  7. Selassie

    25/01/2016 at 6:14 AM

    Wow… God first. Good story

  8. Ojebiyi Favour

    25/01/2016 at 8:29 AM

    Great piece!!! I’m learning…. Storing this for the future when it’ll be needed… More grace, More knowledge!!!

  9. Tunmise

    25/01/2016 at 3:01 PM

    his kneeling down didn’t even make any effects…… God’s confirmation gave the answer to all the questions in ur heart. thanks so much sis. More anointing!
    I celebrate you.

  10. Okanlawon Debbie

    25/01/2016 at 3:37 PM

    Waoh….more grace! Congratulations #Smiles

  11. maduka Henry

    25/01/2016 at 8:17 PM

    Hmm dis is a great strory from a great writer. Ur ingenuity is rear and can’t be measured and I celebrate you for that $$$

  12. mzquinn

    20/12/2016 at 11:16 AM

    This write up actually humbled me…
    at first i keep wondering why God directed me to this site? after reading most of the stories on relationship and marriage it became clear to me that i need thee teachings in those stories. i need to see the lessons its speaking. when i finish each story i just sit and meditate on it.

    one of the things am happy about all this stories is the ministry of the Holyspirit.

    thank you Lizzy..

  13. Amanda

    20/01/2017 at 11:52 PM

    Wow, thank you very much for this write up. Exactly the same thing has been bothering me for sometime now. This maybe an old post but God knows why he made me see it now. It just answers all my questions and I can say my mind is at peace now. Thank you very much.

  14. xtalola

    27/03/2017 at 4:11 PM

    More Grace, nice piece

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